This post took place over two years ago. Its hard to believe it was that two years have passed by since that time. It seems like I just wrote this blog. As I am laying here in the same room I can still remember the emotion I felt as I wrote these words, the passion that I felt for life, and the excitement that I had for what was in store. Howbeit, I probably would have never returned to Wake Forest if I had known what God was going to allow to happen in my life just weeks later. He knew what I was about to encounter and wanted to implant this truth in my life apart from the circumstances I faced.

Now I lay here, two years later, and I'm learning the same lesson but in such a different way. I am learning that all of life's experience are meant to glorify Him whether it be a blessing in which I find so much joy, happiness and satisfaction--that has come at the cost of his life on the cross. On the other hand when I am going through a trial or suffering because of the effects of sin I can count it as joy because I am learning to lean on Christ and glory in his death on the cross alone. My joy and contentment in life should not be based on circumstance but on Christ. This is a hard lesson to learn. I have not yet achieved it, but I am learning it. He wants me to be completely satisfied in Him and to sacrificially live life and love others because of His great love for me.   

February 24, 2007
I'm in Clemson right now...200.85 miles from my apartment, 773 miles from home, and two feet away from the bed that is calling my name to go to sleep :) but I can't help but think about all of the different places i've been in my life and how for the first time in years I feel like I am where I'm supposed to be! Believe me not everything is falling into place. As it has been said "when it rains it pours" and for me that includes the good and the bad. What I'm learning is that no matter where you are and how hard its "raining"--look at it as an opportunity to dance in the rain.
There is just something about being wherever God has placed you, having an amazing time being there, and not always trying to figure every little thing out! I'm an analyzer. I analyze this, that and everything in between! My life has been spent trying to figure out my next move, other people's next move, and I guess altogether God's next move--and it seems to have been a complete waste of time. I received the BEST advice the other day from a friend when she told me to stop analyzing an just enjoy life and that got me to think how the best times in my life have been the times when I've been carefree, relaxed, vulnerable, free to love, and looking for even the smallest blessings in the most trivial of situations. So now it doesn't matter if I'm at Southeastern working on a masters program that is going to take an eternity to finish or laying on the beach on some remote island--life is going to be only as good as what I allow it to be. God is just waiting to shower us with blessings and yes some of those blessings come through hard times in that we can know Him all the more. I believe God wants us to enjoy life to the fullest because we are completely filled by His Spirit. Solomon knew what he was talking about when he said "I perceived that there is nothing better for them than to be joyful and to do good as long as they live." Ups and downs will come and go, questions about purpose and identity will arise, but I'm positive that there is always some kind of blessing that you can identify in your life, thank God for it, keep trusting God in ALL things, and just go on enjoying life and serving HIM. I know all of this is completely random and just to let you know my blogs don't always follow a logical train of thought but hey it's late and I felt like typing! :)

THE END and goodnight.

Mended

You repair all that we have torn apart and
You unveil a new beginning in our hearts and
We stand grateful for all that has been left behind and
All that goes before us

You've got all things suspended
All things connected
Nothing was forgotten
'Cause your love is perfect
You are our healer
And you know what's broken
And we're not a mystery to you

We will dance 'cause you restore the wasted years and
You will sing over all our coming fears and
We'll stand grateful for all that has been left behind and all that goes before us

Lord, you mend the breech
And you break every fetter
You give us your best, but what we thought was better
And you are to be praised
You are to be praised 

In the light of a lot of what has taken place this weekend and the things God has revealed to me in my heart concerning how I view Him I have realized that He is so much greater than my sins. He loves me with a love that is purer that all other loves, and it is because His great love that I can live confident in the fact that He will finish was he has started in me. It is because of His love that I am not in held captive to my sins. His love does not condemn. It brings about repentance which is an evidence of the work of the Spirit. I'm so thankful for Christ who is my healer and my restorer of all broken things.