Almost day seven AKA Week 2

So when I said it was my first day I was just joking....kinda. I ended up only doing 3 days that week. Instead, I have decided that last Monday was the official day one. Lets just say that after a week of working out I have definitely found out that I have muscles I never knew I had. I also started running again so I'm pretty much dying right now. I didn't stick to the diet the last part of the week so that's my goal for this week. Baby steps right?

All in all I love it. I don't do all of the arms because I don't want to get jacked. I cut yoga day short because it bores me and Brittany to death so we just ran instead. Oh yeah! Brittany has been working out with me every morning too! That helps motivate me so much! I won't be working out tomorrow morning cause I haven't been feeling too well today but hopefully I can get it in by the end of the day.

This has been a good experience so far, but one thing God has been teaching me over this week is about being intentional and disciplined. I was able to do it for the most part with my workout program but how disciplined am I with my time for other things like school work, time with the Lord, and other things that God has place on my heart that should definitely be a part of my life? Exercise really can be a time of worship for me--when I can focus on praying for others or praising God for His blessings. So I'm not saying that its bad its just reminded me of other things that need to be disciplined in my life much more than this. I'm so thankful for God and his ways of reminding me of my desperate need for him and his rich mercy and blessings!

P90x--Day 1

I've already decided that this definitely is not going to be a daily blog about p90x. First of all, because it would take up even more time that I don't have right now. Secondly, I don't think I really want to think about P90x when I'm not doing it. School has started back up in full gear so I'm going to make this quick by making a few observations about Day 1.

-Anything has to be better than doing nothing since it is SO cold outside lately!

-It makes me appreciate running even more :)

-It doesn't seem hard and then all of a sudden it hits you and you are completely worn out!

-The instructor, Tony Whatever-his-name-is, reminds me of an athletic version of Michael from the office--therefore he is definitely going to get on my nerves real quick especially with the whole Blam (Pam's nickname) thing!

BUT... it definitely will get anyone into shape if they stick with it. That's obvious. So hopefully 90 days from now I will be ranting and raving about how wonderful it is :)

My P90x Journey-preface

I did it.

I bought P90x.

For a girl that has grown up working out her whole life I really have my reservations about this program. Most of these videos promise quick fixes that never come about. Some of the videos are so geared towards guys that a girl never really gets a work out geared toward her body type. And finally, the last thing I want is to come out looking like a body builder... that's not so attractive. Part of the reason I bought the P90x is because I cancelled my gym membership about a year ago. It was nice break and all but I just love the feeling of pushing your body to its limit or the rush you have after crossing the finish line after a half marathon. So I got back into running over the summer and, along with Jenna and Sam, I trained for my first half-marathon! Now I'm looking to complete my first marathon in October. However, running only does so much. It's time to get back to working out my whole body. Being prone to injury and also because of the need to cross train while getting ready for the marathon, I bought P90x. I'm thankful that God has allowed me to run again so I need to make sure I train in the best way possible.

So here I go... the questions I have will only be answered by trying it for myself. I might as well give it a shot. Now all I have to do is wait for the pull up bar and a few other things and I should be good to go.... Do I really have the time to do this and train for a marathon? I guess only time will tell.

No AC

I posed a question to my roommate a little while back... 

Do you think that since we live in a place that looks probably a lot more like heaven than most places, we don't long for heaven as much as we would if we lived in a place that more resembled hell? 

Yes, these are the random thoughts going through my mind as I drive along perfectly manicured yards, see Stepford wives running miles on end, and step outside my front door to see gorgeous yellow roses blooming almost every day. I live so comfortably. I heard a missionary explain how hard it is to come back to the States because he gets comfortable so easily. When he's overseas he knows he is on a mission. He lives as though he is on a mission. His life is driven by that mission-to make Christ and His love known to all. Here I find myself caught up in my own life all too often. I am amazed and at the same time ashamed of how much more focused my life is when I am on a missions trip or involved in a project at church. As much as I strive after the wind looking for comfort in my life, in my heart of hearts I long for that discomfort that reminds me that I am an exile here. This is not my home. I belong to another kingdom and my life is only a preparation for that place. 

This post came to mind because I am laying in my living room, not my bedroom, because the AC is broken and its practically a sauna up there! I want to complain and get frustrated, but would I complain if I was in a hut in Africa somewhere? Who knows. I'd like to think not. But instead of desiring to be somewhere God has not placed me in order to learn this lesson, I must learn to live missionally here. 

Lord, help me to never get so comfortable that I live for myself but that I always am living unto You. May the blessings that you bring be occasions for me to rejoice in you and the discomforts that come my way opportunities to lean on you all the more. Keep my eyes focused on you in the midst of great beauty or despair so that I would live a life that brings glory to you. 

"Be still and know that I am God, I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!"

This post took place over two years ago. Its hard to believe it was that two years have passed by since that time. It seems like I just wrote this blog. As I am laying here in the same room I can still remember the emotion I felt as I wrote these words, the passion that I felt for life, and the excitement that I had for what was in store. Howbeit, I probably would have never returned to Wake Forest if I had known what God was going to allow to happen in my life just weeks later. He knew what I was about to encounter and wanted to implant this truth in my life apart from the circumstances I faced.

Now I lay here, two years later, and I'm learning the same lesson but in such a different way. I am learning that all of life's experience are meant to glorify Him whether it be a blessing in which I find so much joy, happiness and satisfaction--that has come at the cost of his life on the cross. On the other hand when I am going through a trial or suffering because of the effects of sin I can count it as joy because I am learning to lean on Christ and glory in his death on the cross alone. My joy and contentment in life should not be based on circumstance but on Christ. This is a hard lesson to learn. I have not yet achieved it, but I am learning it. He wants me to be completely satisfied in Him and to sacrificially live life and love others because of His great love for me.   

February 24, 2007
I'm in Clemson right now...200.85 miles from my apartment, 773 miles from home, and two feet away from the bed that is calling my name to go to sleep :) but I can't help but think about all of the different places i've been in my life and how for the first time in years I feel like I am where I'm supposed to be! Believe me not everything is falling into place. As it has been said "when it rains it pours" and for me that includes the good and the bad. What I'm learning is that no matter where you are and how hard its "raining"--look at it as an opportunity to dance in the rain.
There is just something about being wherever God has placed you, having an amazing time being there, and not always trying to figure every little thing out! I'm an analyzer. I analyze this, that and everything in between! My life has been spent trying to figure out my next move, other people's next move, and I guess altogether God's next move--and it seems to have been a complete waste of time. I received the BEST advice the other day from a friend when she told me to stop analyzing an just enjoy life and that got me to think how the best times in my life have been the times when I've been carefree, relaxed, vulnerable, free to love, and looking for even the smallest blessings in the most trivial of situations. So now it doesn't matter if I'm at Southeastern working on a masters program that is going to take an eternity to finish or laying on the beach on some remote island--life is going to be only as good as what I allow it to be. God is just waiting to shower us with blessings and yes some of those blessings come through hard times in that we can know Him all the more. I believe God wants us to enjoy life to the fullest because we are completely filled by His Spirit. Solomon knew what he was talking about when he said "I perceived that there is nothing better for them than to be joyful and to do good as long as they live." Ups and downs will come and go, questions about purpose and identity will arise, but I'm positive that there is always some kind of blessing that you can identify in your life, thank God for it, keep trusting God in ALL things, and just go on enjoying life and serving HIM. I know all of this is completely random and just to let you know my blogs don't always follow a logical train of thought but hey it's late and I felt like typing! :)

THE END and goodnight.

Mended

You repair all that we have torn apart and
You unveil a new beginning in our hearts and
We stand grateful for all that has been left behind and
All that goes before us

You've got all things suspended
All things connected
Nothing was forgotten
'Cause your love is perfect
You are our healer
And you know what's broken
And we're not a mystery to you

We will dance 'cause you restore the wasted years and
You will sing over all our coming fears and
We'll stand grateful for all that has been left behind and all that goes before us

Lord, you mend the breech
And you break every fetter
You give us your best, but what we thought was better
And you are to be praised
You are to be praised 

In the light of a lot of what has taken place this weekend and the things God has revealed to me in my heart concerning how I view Him I have realized that He is so much greater than my sins. He loves me with a love that is purer that all other loves, and it is because His great love that I can live confident in the fact that He will finish was he has started in me. It is because of His love that I am not in held captive to my sins. His love does not condemn. It brings about repentance which is an evidence of the work of the Spirit. I'm so thankful for Christ who is my healer and my restorer of all broken things.

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades Never ending, 

Your glory goes beyond all fame my heart and my soul, 

Lord I give you control 

Consume me from the inside out Lord 

Let justice and praise become my embrace To love You from the inside out  

Your will above all else, my purpose remains The art of losing myself in bringing you praise

I'm so tired of writing this paper for Old Testament right now to be completely honest. Its 3:30am and I don't think I could make it any colder in here, do any more crunches and pushups to stay awake, or think of anything else to write for this paper. Its all about how God dealt with the other nations in the prophetic books of the Bible, and to be honest I just see myself painted all across these books. God just wants all of mankind to be captivated by him, worshipping him, in awe of who he is--not for the things he gives or takes away, but for who he is. When God told Moses to go to Egypt he didn't say I will do this and that for you. He told him to say that I AM sent you. God wants us to be satisfied with Him alone. I know I'm at fault many times for looking to God for what he gives or what he can take away in my life in order to make my life better in my opinion. Circumstances and desires often cloud my view of God. But the most precious times in my life have been when he doesn't change anything and although I so desperately want to see my situation changed, just like the Israelites did, he just gives me a glimpse of himself. He gives me just enough to trust him to see that he alone is worthy of my praise and worship. He will do whatever it takes to reclaim our wandering hearts just like he did with Israel. He alone is our satisfaction. I desire that above all else...just to see him. His Word reveals more than I could ever fully comprehend, but that doesn't stop me from longing for the day when I see him face to face. Thoughts like this make everything else in life fade into the backdrop of his glorious grace.